Illness brings us closer
by endlesscompassion
Summary: When John is diagnosed with a terminal disease, how will it alter his relationship with Sherlock. JW/SH Slash. Probably OOC Rated M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Just an idea i had. Please tell me if it's crap. It will probably be OOC, but who knows, i might surprise you and actually manage to do this IN character. Lol

I (unfortunately) don't own Sherlock – if i did, Sherlock Holmes would be mine.

John walked home, not knowing how to feel, should he feel scared, or upset? Should he feel angry? He had no idea. There was so much conflict going on inside his brain, which was, ironically, where the problem was. He had no idea how he was going to tell Sherlock, more to the fact, if Sherlock would actually care.

He approached Baker Street, and felt his breathing start to quicken. He knew he had to calm down; otherwise Sherlock would know that something was up, straight away. This time, he didn't want to be deduced. This time, he wanted to explain. It might help him, get his head round it himself.

He thought back to when this all started a few days ago. He was at Harry's and it had ended badly.

Flashback

John and Harry were sitting on the sofa, when John felt a headache come on. He gritted his teeth as it gradually got worse. His vision, got blurry and the room span.

The next thing he remembered was waking up with a terrified Harry looking at him.

"What Happened?" he asked, noting how gravelly his voice sounded.

Harry cleared her throat and looked at her feet.

"You had a nose bleed, then you just started fitting. I couldn't do anything – you just started, it was so sudden, there was nothing i could do about it." She said, on the verge of tears

End flashback

He'd gotten an appointment at the hospital the next day, and they'd given him the results today. He opened the door of their flat, and slowly entered, not knowing what to expect.

John walked up the stairs, and into their living room, just as Sherlock came in from the kitchen.

"Ah, John, you are back, now we need to go down to the Scotland yard at once, Lestrade has got a new case for us." He said with glee.

John just blinked and moved to his chair. Sherlock looked at him, puzzled

"John? Did you hear me?" he asked

"Yes i heard you, but i think that you'd better tell lestrade that you might be a bit late." He said, surprisingly calm.

Sherlock again, looked at him with confusion written all over his face. If this weren't so serious, john would have laughed. He had managed to confuse the worlds only consulting detective twice within five minutes.

"John, what's going on?" Sherlock asked

"Umm..." John hesitated, "I'm not quite sure how to say this, Sherlock, i can barely get my head around it myself... but...um... I've got cancer." He said, quietly

He looked at Sherlock, and wished he hadn't. There was something in sherlock's eyes that was so powerful, he could bare to look at it for too long. He watched Sherlock clench and unclench his fists and heard him take a deep breath.

"You kept this from me, You hid the symptoms, you knew that there had been something wrong with you for months!" Sherlock said, It was true, that he had been getting blurred vision, and headaches quite often. Sherlock continued "You told me that it was just stress, that you would be fine, and now you have a serious illness that could have been caught earlier had you told me!" Sherlock was now shouting. John just looked at the floor, knowing that he had no argument, other than he didn't want to make a fuss.

"Tell me John, what made you get checked out?" he asked coldly. John cleared his throat and looked Sherlock in the eye, seeing only anger there.

"I had a seizure at Harry's house a few days ago, i got tests done the next day"

Sherlock practically exploded YOU STILL DIDN'T TELL ME, EVEN WHEN YOU WERE EXPERIENCING MAJOR SYMPTOMS!"

John, again, looked down in shame. "I'm sorry Sherlock," he whispered

"So what happens now? Chemo, Radiotherapy, Surgery?"Sherlock asked, in a scarily calm voice

After the reaction of just telling him that he had the disease, he had no idea how bad it would be when he told him the next bit.

"I'm being put on pain management, to cope, but other than that there is no point in treatment," john whispered

"what is that supposed to mean?" sherlock asked, sounding surprised John, nd he looked up to see Sherlock close to tears.

"It means that i have a brain tumour, it is inoperable, and none of the medication will shrink it." He said, trying to get this over and done with.

"So that means..." Sherlock said, in a quiet voice

"I'm dying" John supplied.

Sherlock then did something that John did not expect. He came to John, wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in John's neck. He felt something warm trickle down his neck and only when he felt the shudders of his body did he realise that Sherlock was crying.

He rubbed circles on Sherlock's back trying to calm him down, whispering soothing words into his ear. Sherlock scrambled to get onto John's lap, like a small child, as he slowly calmed down.

"I can't lose you John, you are too important to me, you are so important." Sherlock said through his tears.

"You won't lose me, as long as you keep me alive in here and here" John whispered back, pointing to Sherlock's head and his heart.

"You don't understand John, as always, one step behind me." He said, John smirked at the joke and tightened his hold on Sherlock as he continued "I can't lose you, because I've fallen in love with you. At least, i think that this is love. I've never experienced it before." Sherlock explained, gaining more of his voice back, until he remembered what the conversation was about, and his face scrunched up in pain, and the tears came back with a vengeance. Putting his head on Johns shoulder, he wept freely. He felt John kiss the top of his head and sigh

"You see that creates a problem Sherlock. I've fallen for you too, and now, i don't want to die." John said in a strained voice.

Sherlock looked up at John and briefly touched his lips to John's, before putting his head back on John's shoulder.

"There is, of course the problem of what to do until i die. Do you want me to move out? That way, you don't have to put up with this." John spoke, not liking how detached he sounded

Sherlock looked up sharply

"So you want to leave me earlier! You want to make me suffer more. I can't bear to lose you John, in any way. I want as much time with you as possible." Sherlock stated firmly.

"But what happens when i can no longer look after myself, what then?" John asked more sharp than he'd intended.

Sherlock looked hurt, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Then I'll look after you," he whispered with so much conviction, that John didn't argue.

No more words were spoken, and they stayed wrapped up in each other for the rest of the evening. John started stroking Sherlock's hair, on pure instinct, and Sherlock fell asleep. Soon after, John joined him in the dreamland.

There you go guys, thats the first chapter done. My updates will be more frequent now, because, as previously mentioned, i have nothing to do.

Please review, they brighten my day

EC


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Guys, i've decided to, for now, discontinue writing my stories. I'm not coming up with any ideas for my stories. When i get settled in college and hopefully get some ideas, maybe i'll start writing again, but for now, its best if i leave it. Sorry to anyone who followed my stories.

Endlesscompassion


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